Saturday, January 16, 2010

Mind Boggling

I really don't understand how people can be so mean, cruel and deceitful to the person that they love. When I was younger, and relationships weren't too serious, and hearts didn't completely grasp what love was, I of course, like most of us, had my share of being on the giving and receiving end of heartbreak. However, I learned from all of those situations and when I found him, I knew that I wanted to love him right and love him completely. I wanted to give him 110% of myself and go above and beyond to make our love beautiful. I thought he thought the same, but I guess not.

I was proposed to, and I immediately shifted from girlfriend to wife mode, and only had our futures in mind. I wanted it to be beautiful and fruitful, and I wanted all of our dreams to come true. I wanted to be in his corner chearing him on in whatever endeavor he decided on taking, and being that person to support him when he loses his footing. And I was all of that and more.

Somewhere along the way, I think he forgot that it is a choice that I make to be his everything and give myself completely. I think he was under the impression that it was what I owed him, not showed him because I wanted to.

I'm not sure when it happened, or how it happened, but somehow I was the last person he wanted anything to do with. I had been nothing but good to him, and he now wanted nothing to do with me. Spending time with me was out of the question, driving to town to see me (after he decided to kick me out) was too much of a burden, talking on the phone with me was too draining, answering a text took up too much of his time.

Then, I find out that there's someone else. He had already broken my heart and thrown me to rock bottom once, never did I think he would do it again. But when I was finally getting my feet back under me, I pulled the rug out from under me and I found myself lying there, on rock bottom, again.

I'm not sure what makes people play with another's heart strings, but whatever that reason is, it's cruel.

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