No, really, that's how I feel.
If I were a guy, and some chick told me, "I was engaged before." I think that might send up a read flag to me.
I will no longer get to be some guy's girl that they get to experience the joy and love that being engaged for the first time brings. No, I will have a failed engagement behind me. I will have that dread of 'Maybe it won't work out again' and having to plan a wedding all over again. I honestly don't see how I will find joy in planning my wedding again. I was supposed to be planning my one and only wedding, now, it looks like I will have to plan another.
And to make matters worse, I won't get that same excitement either. Never in my life did I imagine that I would be that girl. Yano, the one who gets engaged young and it ends up not working out beings one, or both, of them are too immature and aren't really ready. Nope, never thought that would be me. But sadly, it is. Holy shit, it's me.
I am damaged goods. I am no longer someone's first and they will no longer be mine. I feel cheated.